I thought, beginning Monday, it would be a lovely week. I was wrong. I can't do anything right, my boyfriend's quit talking to me, it feels like we're drifting apart and I feel horrible. I feel like hell, and to top it off I was too stupid last time to get scholarship level on my HSE tests. I want to be smart, I want to be funny, I want to be pretty and I want to be... confident. If I could just be all of that, I could do good on the COMPASS test, I could get scholarship level, and I could deal with everything. I wish I was skinnier, because if I was skinny, maybe I'd be pretty. I've been losing weight like crazy and trying to work out and spend most of my time away from food I mean I don't think I even had 1000 calories today which is sort of a miracle but also really awesome. I've really been trying my best to just get rid of as much weight as possible and to feel good about myself but it's so hard to do.
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